Iron ChefMiami Style
by ladyd10
Summary: The annual challenge between the Fire Department's Bomb and Arson squad and the MDPD's CSI's has changed. Not a feat of strength and endurance, no, a feat of skill and finesse. Food lovers beware...this couldmake you cook.


_**Iron Chef-Miami Style**_

Horatio stopped and took time to watch his team through the glass wall of the layout room. Lately they all had been scattered, either working a case alone or in twos, never once in the last few months, did they all work an investigation together. That was all about to change.

The time spent apart seemed to only strengthen the team bond and laughter pealed out to him as he opened the door. "Good morning ladies and gentlemen," Horatio said pleasantly. He handed out identical manila envelopes to each team member. "I have news for you. You've been scattered over these last months and now I need you to work an assignment together. Please open your envelopes."

"H, this is about the county fund raiser for the childrens' hospital," Eric said, "This isn't an assignment."

"Yes it it, Eric," he replied. "Instead of running the team triathlon this year, the county commissioners decided to run a team challenge. What you are looking at is the Crime Lab's challenge."

Alexx chuckled as she began to read the challenge sheet. "I don't run, I don't swim and I don't cycle, but this I _can_ do."

"Is this what I think it is; an Iron Chef challenge?" Calleigh asked with her own laugh.

"We're making a meal? That's bizarre," Natalia commented, shaking her head in amused disbelief.

"From what I understand, it was the Fire Commissioner's idea," Horatio explained.

"Uh, what if you can't cook?" Ryan asked. "I mean, I burn water. I can barely make toast."

Eric raised an eyebrow at the confession. "Man, you're single. How do you eat?"

"Take out and frozen; listen, I've been paying attention to other things," Ryan shot back defensively.

Before Eric could reply, Alexx said, "Alright, Horatio, I know I'm familiar with Iron Chef, but..."

"No less than five dishes, one theme ingredient and you all must work as a team to produce them," Horatio explained quickly.

Shrugging gamely, Calleigh asked, "Okay, well, what's the theme ingredient?"

"Pork. Make it tasty, ladies and gentlemen because I do not want to lose to Lt. Crawford at Bomb and Arson," Horatio said with a slight grin.

"You're not cooking?" Calleigh asked. "This is supposed to be a team thing. You're our Lt.; you have to be part of this. There's nothing in the rules that say you can't be."

Horatio was taken aback for a minute. "I wasn't sure you'd want me in there cooking."

"Horatio, you know we want you in there," Alexx said. "I know you can cook."

"Well, I suppose I can come up with something," Horatio said, beginning to smile.

"You can always make gumbo. We'll need a heat dish to compete with the Fire Department's Bomb and Arson squad," Calleigh said, writing notes in the margin of the challenge sheet.

"I could do that. That's one dish down," Horatio replied.

Eric grinned like a mad scientist. "This really might be fun. I know from experience that the only part of a pig that you can't use is the oink."

Natalia laughed. "I have a killer recipe for refried bean and ground beef empanadas. I can substitute ground pork in and it should be fantastic. I think Eric's right. This could be a lot of fun."

Calleigh kept her eyes on the paper, taking in the team details. "Alright, we have two dishes down, then. Now we actually have to build the team. We need our head, or Iron, chef, at least two sous chefs, a saucier and....." She looked up to see them all staring at her. "What? I like watching the Food Network. You can really pick up some techniques."

Eric fought hard to suppress a laugh at Calleigh's expense. He didn't feel like having her smack him. "It's definitely not me. I mean, I'm a pretty decent cook, but I learned everything from my mom."

"Well," Natalia said quietly, "I spent a year at the Culinary Institute of Southern California. I thought that I wanted to be a chef before I decided that I liked science better than Pastry 101. I never graduated from there so I think I still qualify as an amateur under the rules."

"No wonder you can cook like nobody's business!" Calleigh exclaimed.

"I guess that makes you our Iron Chef, baby," Alexx said. "I can't come close. I learned from my mother and grandmother. What about you, Calleigh?"

"Me? I worked in a steakhouse kitchen for some extra spending money when I was in college. I started out washing dishes, stirring soups and taking out the garbage. The owner was really nice and actually worked in the kitchen most days. Sometimes, when we had a lull, he and the other chefs would teach me things. It wasn't much, but I liked learning and it was fun," Calleigh said, smiling at the memory.

"Cal, don't be so humble," Eric said. "You could put one of your sauces on aluminum siding and I would eat it."

"And now I know New Orleans is known for it's food. Unless you worked at the worst greasy spoon in the city, you got a five star training," Alexx said, completely surprised by this new knowledge.

"I didn't get any "training". I was a dish washer, soup stirrer and garbage taker-outer. I got an occasional lesson here or there," Calleigh said with a dismissive air, the blush on her cheeks saying something else entirely. "I'm not Rataouille! I just worked in a steakhouse."

"Yeah, and I remember you told me once the name of the place. I just wish I could remember it now," Eric said, enjoying the deepening blush that rose on Calleigh's cheeks. Teasing her had always been a favorite pastime of his, although he was serious this time. He knew it was a big name steakhouse, but he just couldn't recall the name.

"Forget it, Eric. Besides, I am a Southern woman and we can make tree bark taste like prime rib if we want to. Can you just drop it?" Calleigh asked, becoming more uncomfortable by the minute. "Natalia, has empanadas. If you can make them small enough, they can work really well as out first course. They'd make great appetizers. Do you bake them or fry them? It says here that a variety of cooking techniques and methods needs to be used."

"Fried," Natalia replied. "I can make them appetizer sized and I think it's a great idea to use them that way."

"That sounds fantastic!" Alexx enthused. "I'm thinking we can do a twist on an old Southern comfort food. Instead of chicken fried steak, why don't we do a chicken fried pork chops and cover them in country gravy?"

Eric caught Alexx's eagerness. "Yeah, and I know my way around a deep fryer pretty well. I can fry up some pork skins and borrow my mom's cinnamon sugar coating. That would be our dessert course."

Natalia was grinning from ear to ear. "That sounds great; weird, but great! Ryan, do you have anything?"

"I burn water, remember? But I just had a really great barbecued pork with a killer spicy peanut sauce. I couldn't get enough of it," Ryan said, glad to be able to contribute.

"Great, can you get us a recipe? We can figure it out if you can get us in the neighborhood. You'll have to be our taster for it; your the only one that's tasted it. MDFD is going to bring some serious goods to the table. We have to be able to do the same," Natalia said, her leadership as Iron Chef settling over her like a light mantle.

"Hey, it says we have four hours to complete our challenge. That's good since we're doing a barbecue dish. You can't rush good barbecue," Eric said. "Hey, Cal, what do you have in mind? We're going to need to bring our A game out on this one."

"Raspberry injected pork shoulder with bacon wrapped asparagus on a bed of raspberry pecan risotto," she replied casually before she could stop herself. She looked up from the ingredient list she was creating. "It's....it's just an idea."

Alexx raised an eyebrow. _Dish washer my right eye_. "Mm-hmm; what was the name of that steakhouse?"

CSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSIC

"Baby, you gotta watch the heat on that oil," Alexx said as she breaded the pork chops. She looked around her large kitchen at the stations they had all set up for themselves.

Eric slid around her. "Sorry, I got caught up in cutting onions."

"None of us can afford to get distracted the day of the challenge," Natalia said, rolling out the dough for her empanadas. She looked over at Calleigh. "How's it going?"

"Just a minute, Chef," Calleigh said, giving her raspberry sauce a final stir. She took it off the heat. "One sauce down. This has got to cool a little before I can inject it into the pork."

"Good because I need to switch places with you so I can start the gumbo," Horatio said. He was having a marvelous time. It was a much needed break from processing grizzly crime scenes and running tests in the Lab.

"Then by all means, do," Calleigh flirted, all play.

"Eric, how are those pork rinds going?" Natalia asked.

"Just about ready to go in the fryer, Chef," Eric teased. Like Horatio, he found the whole day relaxing, even though they were doing a practice run for the challenge. He laid a few pieces of rind in the fry basket before lowering it slowly in the hot fat. He cheered as the satisfying sound of frying filled the air.

"Eric, you're having too much fun," Alexx said, laughing.

Ryan stuck his head in the kitchen door. "I'm done with my plating sketches. How far are we?"

"Far enough," Calleigh said, grabbing the culinary injector. "Can you bring me that shoulder, please, Ryan?"

Ryan looked over at the various cuts of meat, puzzled at which one was which. "I, uh..."

"The large piece, honey," Alexx said kindly as she took up a spot next to Horatio and laid her chops in the already heated frying pan.

Grateful for the explanation, Ryan grabbed the piece of meat and carried it over to the kitchen table, plunking it down in front of Calleigh. "There you go. What are you going to do with that thing?" he asked, indicating what looked like to him to be an elephant syringe.

Calleigh was patient with her explanation, remembering all the questions she used to ask of the kitchen staff back in college. "I'm going to use it to inject the sauce into the pork shoulder. Here; watch."

Ryan held the shoulder steady as he watched Calleigh use the injector to suck up the sauce and then inject it into the meat. "I get it! It's like giving a shot."

"Right, only I draw the needle out as I push the plunger down so that there's a stripe of sauce all the way through it," Calleigh explained, smiling at his enthusiasm. "See, pork is a naturally sweet meat and this is just going to enhance that sweetness. It also makes the meat more tender."

Natalia smiled to herself, listening to Calleigh's patient teaching. She wished some of her instructors at the culinary institute had been half as patient. If they had, she might have been a chef instead of a DNA analyst. "You're a good teacher, Calleigh."

Calleigh's cheeks colored. "Thanks," she mumbled, concentrating on getting all the sauce into the pork.

"Hey, Horatio, how's the gumbo coming? I'm smelling something good," Natalia asked as she filled and then sealed the empanadas with an expert crispness.

"Andouille sausage cooking in butter always smells good," he replied, giving the meat a good stir.

"Ryan, can you carry the ribs out to the grill for me? I'll be out in a minute to get them started," Alexx said, flipping her pork chops.

"Sure, Alexx," Ryan said, watching Calleigh take crushed raspberries and encrusting the outside of the shoulder. "What's that for?"

"Extra flavor," she replied. "Alright, this baby is good to go. How much time do we have left?"

Ryan checked his watch before picking up the large plastic tub that had the ribs marinating in it. "Three hours and fifteen minutes left. Where do you want this, Alexx?"

"Put it on the picnic table, baby," Alexx said, following him into the yard.

CSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSIC

All five chefs stood nervously awaiting judgment. They had spent the afternoon cooking, plating, replaying and arranging the food that was now to be judged by Alexx's husband, Henry, Frank and Yelina.

Henry wiped his lips as he finished the last bite of his empanada. "I liked this. The crust was nice and crunchy and everything inside was almost a paste. It was a nice contrast. The sofrito was a great dipping sauce."

"I loved the sofrito. Just the right amount of spice," Yelina said. "The empanada filling tasted good, but I really didn't like the texture."

"Well, I thought the dipping sauce was too spicy but I liked everything else," Frank said.

"For our second dish we have raspberry injected pork shoulder on a bed of raspberry pecan risotto and bacon wrapped asparagus," Natalia said shooting Calleigh a grin. She knew this was going to be universally loved.

Frank chewed thoughtfully before speaking. "Now, this is too fancy for me, but it tastes great and you can't go wrong putting bacon on anything."

"This is very good," Yelina commented, "I like this way of making asparagus. It's very novel."

"The risotto isn't bad, either. I was expecting it to be sweeter, but it's almost savory," Henry said. "Now, baby, don't get me wrong, but this isn't your dish, is it?"

"No, I handled a couple of others. Besides, it's all a group effort," Alexx replied, making a mental note to get the recipe later.

Dish by dish they went, each being reviewed carefully. Last came Eric's pride and joy; the cinnamon pork rinds.

"This is just weird. But I like it," Frank said with a note of surprise in his voice.

"I've never thought of deep fried pork rinds as a dessert, but it works," Yelina observed.

Henry chewed thoughtfully. "I never had them like this and I don't know if I like it or not. It seems kind of strange."

Eric sighed. _Two out of three wasn't bad._

"So," Natalia said, "do you think we have a chance of winning the team challenge next weekend with what we've got or not?"

"I'd turn up the heat on that gumbo, but other than that, I'd leave everything exactly as it is," Henry said.

Yelina wiped her mouth with her napkin. "I have to agree. That's rib dish is novel. I'd really leave that in for variety."

"Is there any more bacon wrapped asparagus left?" Frank asked.

Henry stood and started to clear the table. "You cooked; we ate; now let us do the dishes." With a nod to his other two judges, he took his dinnerware into the kitchen.

CSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSIC

The makeshift Kitchen Stadium hummed with pre-contest activity as the MDPD'S Crime Scene Investigation Unit readied itself to do culinary battle with the MDFD's Bomb and Arson Squad. Horatio glanced over at his counterpart, Lt. Paul Crawford and grinned cheekily. "Hey, Crawford, you're going down, my friend."

Lt. Crawford looked up from his plating station. He shot a cheeky grin back. "Not today, Caine. I hope you brought your A game because we're going to flambe you."

"Horatio, will you stop baiting people who can take us out by remote control? Natalia said in her role as the Iron Chef..

"Cut him some slack, 'Talia," Eric said, checking the frying station. "Crawford's been on him for the last three weeks."

"Are you done trash talking, Horatio? I need some muscle to move these ribs," Alexx said, struggling with the heavy tub.

Horatio chuckled, hoping that nothing went wrong to ruin the fun of the day. "Sure, Alexx; let me take that for you."

The hustle and bustle of preparations continued until a good half an hour before the competition was due to begin. While no preparing of the dishes could happen, the preparations of the stations and the gathering close of ingredients was and both teams took good advantage of it, all the while shooting remarks to the other team in good natured trash-talking.

"Nat, do you have any idea who the judges are? They seem to keeping it a national secret," Calleigh asked.

Natalia looked up from her empanada recipe."The only one that I know of is the Mayor, but that was to be expected. The other two, I have no idea. I have heard a rumor that they both have local restaurants."

"Aw, crap! We have square plates! I have to redesign everything!" Ryan cried, looking over the plates. "I designed for round. At least I have a couple of hours before you guys are ready to plate."

Natalia flicked her gaze up at him. "Remember, you're in here with us, too. You'd better sketch as we go along. I still need you for washing and chopping."

"I'm gonna lose a finger," Ryan muttered under his breath.

CSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSIC

Both teams kept the preparations going until a half an hour before the challenge was to begin. Each were dismissed to their respective green rooms to change clothes and ready themselves for the competition. The Crime Lab team changing into pristine white lab coats with not only which culinary team they were on, but their names and what position they held on the team. The Bomb and Arson Squad all changed into firey red t-shirts with their team name and position on the team. All too soon, or, perhaps not soon enough, the time for the challenge arrived. Both teams strode out into a packed and cheering Kitchen Stadium. Battle Pork was about to begin.


End file.
